"Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass."
"Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern. Just the slow erosion of the self, as insidious as any cancer. And, like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience. A room in hell with only your name on the door."
"For sometimes you can’t help but crave some ruin in what you love."
"She said, ‘You know when you think you know someone? More than anyone in the world? You know you know them, because you’ve seen them, like, for real. And then you reach out, and suddenly they are just…gone. You thought you belonged together. You thought they were yours, but they’re not.’"
"I don’t know what’s the matter with me, why I’m so adept at distance, why I feel so remote from things, why life feels like a rumor."
“There’s no heartbreak quite like when you’re seventeen and you’ve realized someone could love you and then not love you. Just like that. No more love for you.
Wonder if it will ever hurt this bad again. Realize that it does but in more subtle ways. Heartbreak becomes a more controlled insanity in your twenties, a manageable illness.
Sometimes you almost miss the way it felt to get your heart broken for the first time by a boy. But not really. Not really at all.”"
my aesthetic: the kids in your high school french textbook from the early 90s